Delivering a funeral in the case of a suicide

Suicide is surprisingly common. 5,583 suicides were registered in 2021 in England and Wales, 6.9% higher than in 2020. It is always an especially difficult form of death, and can leave families with many questions and highly complex feelings. Needless to say, working as a celebrant in the case of a suicide requires an exceptional level of sensitivity, personal resilience and excellent communication. 

If you are not yet a trained celebrant but thinking of joining the profession, you might feel worried about delivering more sensitive and difficult funerals, such as this. It’s only natural that you will want to do some research first and better understand the role of the celebrant. If this is the case, we have a quiz you can take to determine your level of suitability to celebrancy. Click here to take the quiz. 

The Core Skills Are The Same

No matter how a person dies, the core skills that you bring to the table are going to be the same each time. Empathy, active listening, eulogy-writing, and delivering a compassionate and fitting funeral. So, in the case of a suicide, remember that you can rely on these skills.

What might be needed, however, is additional sensitivity to the situation and patience with a family who are possibly in masses of shock. Suicides are usually sudden and unexpected. Most people who take their own lives do not show outward warning signs of doing so. Families might also feel highly confusing negative emotions like anger and guilt over the death. And, as uncomfortable as it might be, some families might even feel relief if that person had been suffering for a long time with mental illness. It is important to work holistically with each family and remember that everyone is different, and there is no one way to grieve or behave in this situation. 

Stuart’s Story

Celebrant and owner of ICPC Stuart Morris discussed a funeral he delivered for a young man who had completed a suicide. Stuart said that one of his tasks was to read out extracts of the suicide note. The young man had deliberately requested that this information be relayed at his funeral. His intention was to reassure his family and friends that they have done nothing wrong, that they couldn’t have stopped him if they had tried, and that he had full awareness of their love and support. You can watch the video and hear Stuart’s recollection of this. 

Is Suicide Mentioned In Funerals?

You may be curious as to whether we address suicide in funerals. The answer is - it’s up to the family. As with any death, the cause of death may or may not be mentioned during the funeral. Your meeting with the family will determine the language you use. In some cases, the family might want to make a point of the suicide as a lesson to others about love, mental health, or friendships. 

We Can Help You Train

When you train with ICPC, you learn the core skills that you will need for any funeral, including funerals for suicides. You will be trained by working celebrants who have first hand experience in these types of ceremonies. And you will also gain a peer support network with the other delegates - some friendships you may even keep for life. At ICPC we are a community, rather than competitors, and will support you when facing difficult ceremonies requiring additional skills and knowledge.