How to Help Couples Write Meaningful Wedding Vows

Oct 17, 2021

Not everyone has to write their own vows. There are a ton of resources out there that allow couples to essentially read aloud pre-written vows that they can identify with. But others prefer to write their vows 100% from scratch - and for the less creative amongst us, this can be quite an ask…

For many couples, writing meaningful vows can be a challenging task. As such, couples may want to involve an expert to help them out on the right choice of words, which are unique for that special person in their lives. As a celebrant, you have to work closely with your clients, to ensure that every aspect of their ceremony has been adequately addressed.

Offer your celebrancy skills and knowledge in making the ceremony as colourful as possible, while also ensuring that couples have a memorable event. If you have been contracted to officiate a wedding or vow renewal ceremony, here are a few ways you can help couples write meaningful vows. 


Have a Clear Understanding of the Couple’s Background

Every couple has a unique story. With this important information in mind, you can help couples play with words to come up with unique vows that are not only inspirational, but also express their love for each other in the most remarkable way. Let the couple know that the vows are meant for them, and that the choice of words really matters. 

You can ask the couple any of the following questions:

  • How and when did you meet?
  • What did you first think of each other upon meeting?
  • When did you realise they were ‘the one’?
  • What has been the happiest memory of your relationship so far?
  • What challenges have you overcome together?
  • What are your top 3 favourite things about each other?


It is also an option to include some humour, as this helps ease the tension, and also creates a friendly atmosphere, away from the emotions. At the International College of Professional Celebrants, we offer you the skills you need to officiate wedding and vow renewal ceremonies, including how you can help couples make meaningful vows.   

Let the Couple Establish What Makes Their Union Unique


As the couple makes promises to each other, let them identify what makes their union exceptional. The choice of words should be aimed at prioritising their marriage, and how they can sustain their love for each other.  

Also, help the couple identify what makes their partner a perfect choice. Using the couple’s experience, choose words that are aimed at flattering each other. 


Time It

Vows should have an element of brevity about them. We do not want couples to worry about giving 10 minute speeches - those can be saved for later. The vows should last only a few minutes all included. The audience should be able to remember what was said - and understand the language being used. Simple is better - there is no need to use a thesaurus on every word. As a celebrant you can test the timing of the vows by reading them out loud with a timer. Remember, you are likely to be talking more slowly than the couple on the day, as nerves make us talk faster.  


The Takeaway

As a wedding celebrant, you should consider what a couple needs to include in their wedding vows and offer professional guidance. Work with the couple and help them make the right choice of words that communicate their love and commitment for each other. 

For more insights on how to help couples make meaningful vows, you might consider seeking the guidance of other professional celebrants. Feel free to call the International Institute of Professional Celebrants at 033 33 404 434, and we shall offer you the help you need