Writing Modern Ceremony Scripts That Reflect Our Time

celebrant training Aug 07, 2023

The traditional language used in ceremonies continues to be relevant and useful in ceremonies today. But, sometimes, we need to adapt our language and write scripts that reflect modern times. In this day and age, things like technology, online dating, gender fluidity, gay marriage and globalisation completely alter the way we meet, date and love. 

So, how can your scripts be altered to reflect this? 

Modern Dating Landscapes

Online Dating- Context. 

In the 1990s and 2000s, when the internet was still young, internet dating carried with it a stigma. Now,if you are single and wanting to date,  it is unusual not to be part of it. There are more than 8,000 online dating sites globally and 323 million people worldwide use them. It’s not just for hook-ups - far from it - 14-20% (depending on location) of online daters marry someone they met online and this figure is only going to grow. 

Tinder, Hinge and Bumble are the three most popular dating sites people meet on. If the couple would like this mentioned in their script, it is best that you research the terminology applicable to the site (e.g. on Hinge you ‘like’ someone, on Tinder you ‘swipe’ someone and on Bumble, only women can begin the dialogue). You can read more about these sites here

A benefit of online dating is that you can cut out the chit-chat and time wasting by being super-specific about what you’re looking for, and use filters to adjust your search. For example, you can filter height, education level, location, smoker status, alcohol intake, kid preferences and much more. Why not ask your couple which filters they used and how they chose the other person’s profile? This will help you get to know them and find out why they were so compatible. 

Tech and Distance

Globalisation combined with modern tech has made the world into one big village. Twenty years ago, it would have been hugely difficult for a couple to have a long distance relationship. Often, if you were with someone who was relocated for work, in the military, or whom you met on holiday, the relationship would struggle due to lack of communication and contact. Now, it has never been easier or cheaper to stay in touch. Online web-conferencing, voice notes, 4G / 5G, social apps and photo sharing have made it possible for couples to connect from opposite sides of the world. 

This might have formed part of your couples’ love story, so try to discover how it worked, what they utilised, and how they stayed connected. How would they like their love story to be told - would they like this part of their relationship shared?

It’s also important to recognise an increase in interracial and intercultural relationships, and how these might have their own rewards, gifts and challenges. 

Gender and Gay Marriage

In 2014, gay marriage became legal in the UK. Since then, a quarter of a million gay couples have married. There has also been a huge gender revolution in recent years. A decline in religious ascription, improved gay rights awareness, social media, and scientific research into gender has helped people to shift from the binary to something more fitting and fluid. 

As Celebrants, we write ceremonies that are meaningful to the individual, after all, we ourselves have been part of a movement away from religious restraints and into customised, personal and meaningful expressions of identity and love. We can use our ceremony scripts to celebrate this uniqueness. You can read more about gender non-binary weddings here

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